Oops! I did it again

Well, I broke my streak of posting once a month. You knew that would happen. Lol. Oh well, at least you got a break from my sometimes too deep of thoughts. So, here is a short little post to kind of catch you up.

We've been busy. In a different kind of way than your normal going here and there type way. Don't get me wrong, we've still been making our rounds of making functions but for the most part we've been spending a lot of time at home. Which I must say....I LOVE!!!

I've always been told I spread myself too thin and am always on the go so I've been working harder on not doing that to myself and to Jason. I know it has to drive him nuts at times to be on the go so much but he's a trooper and rarely complains. Thank you, honey!! So anyways....It's been a little hard at times to actually say NO to things but I realize it's ok to do that. I think the Lord let me know how okay it was on Sunday when the pastor spoke about this exact subject. I've always struggled with people pleasing and while I know for a fact that you can't please everyone, I still have a hard time with it. I've made up my mind that it's time to let it go. Completely go. It's a work in progress though. So far it's been great. I can't deny I'm actually kind of loving it. Not that I don't want to be around my loved ones but I don't feel the stress of having to rush every where all the time. Not to mention that our home loves us being there. Especially now that we have been doing some fun projects, which I look forward to telling you about on a different post, once we get everything done.

As you all know my job situation is kind of up in the air right now. Which has definitely played a role in us not doing so much too. We've cut back on a lot of outings and such. And are concentrating on finances and getting us into a good spot once my job goes away. As far as the home projects go, they are all on the thrifty side. Which you know I LOVE because it means...less expense! As of right now, they are saying September as the cut off date for my job, which has been pushed back a bit from the original date. Can't say I mind as that means I will have a job for a bit longer than I thought. Word around the office is that there are some posititions that are going to become available soon. I think I may try for one of them so wish me luck! Either way, I know God will lead me to where I am suppose to be next so this girl is feeling no pressure! Not to mention we've been there done that and He was always with us and never let us go without.

I want to sincerely thank all of our famiy and friends who continue to keep us in their thoughts and prayers. We love you guys!

Until next time!

Time....Where did you go?!?

Time
By Chantal Kreviazuk

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?
Wait, don’t go so fast.
I’m missing the moments as they pass.
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer.
So wait for me this time.
I’m down I’m down on my knees.
I’m begging for all your sympathy.
But you (I’m just an illusion).
You don’t seem to care (I wish that I could).
You humble people everywhere (I don’t mean to hurt you).
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer.
I’ll take what you give me.
Please know that I’m learning.
So wait for me this time.
I should’ve know better.
I shouldn’t have wasted those days.
And afternoons and mornings.
I threw them all away.
Now this is my time.
I’m going to make this moment mine (I shouldn’t have wasted those days).
I’ll take what you give me.
Please know that I’m learning.
I’ve looked in the mirror.
My world’s getting clearer.
So wait for me this time

Time, where did you go is right!!!
The above is a song and if you have never heard it, I highly suggest you do. I absolutely love Chantal Kreviazuk. I love her so much that mine and Jason's first dance was to her song "Feels like home" and my daddy/daughter song was "In This Life"...both are songs with very deep lyrics. Imagine that, me and sentimental stuff. :)

Music soothes my soul. It's the one of the most important things in life to me. It gives me the chance to reflect, feel, let loose and relax. I don't know what I would do without it.

Onto my "Time" post.... The song time has recently stuck to me. While I try to savour every moment in my life, I feel like in a lot of ways, time has gotten away from me. I look at where I am now in life and it literaly makes me drop to my knees with gratitude, happiness and sadness all at the same time. As with everyone, my life hasn't been perfect but when I look back at everything I can't help but think that it was....perfect that is.

I wish more than anything that my memory was as good as Jason's. He has a memory unlike any other. It makes me envy him because I don't have that. Thank goodness I have him to help me with that now. He will be able to take me back for years to come! I have a lot of memories of when I was growing up. Sure they aren't all the best of memories but that's beside the point. The point is in all of those things, there were great memories, the kind that I choose to carry forward with me. Like living in Mexico and spending lots of time with our family and my abuelita's cooking. Then there is the time my family took a trip to Guadalajara and San Juan De Los Lagos. I think I was maybe 5 or so when we went. I can't remember every detail of that trip but I know it was a great one. There are memories of living in Perrynton, TX and of course a million and one memories of what I consider my hometown, Granbury. That's the place I lived most of my life. So much went on in that little town and due to its size, everyone knew almost everyone. I miss living there but I don't regret moving to Arlington. I have no idea where I would be if I had stayed back there. Nor do I really care to know. I look at my life and I can't help but feel that I am exactly where the good Lord wants me to be. Duh!

There are a lot of things I wish I could go back and not necessarily change but maybe handled different. I would of spend more time getting to know my grandparents rather than worrying about what friend I was going to play with that day. My grandparents (on my mother's side) passed away when I was only 10. My granfather (on my dad's side) died when I was much younger and my grandmother passed just a couple of years ago. If I had the time to take back, Lord knows I would use some to go back and spend with them. I never really knew them. I know they loved me to pieces. I just wish I could still feel it. Growing up in different countries makes that a little hard to do but still, I should of tried harder. I've been very blessed in having met Jason. His grandparents, "Pop" and "Betty" kind of filled that void in a way. Pop loved me like I was his own until the day he died. Betty still continues to do the same. Never in my life did I imagine that they would take me in the way they had/have. I like to think that in a way my real grandparents provided me the love I missed from them, through them. Crazy, I'm sure but I refuse to think otherwise! I would also go back and do the same with other family and friends. With hectic lives and schedule it's hard sometimes to work around everyone and get togehter but still, I think...try harder. I wish there was a way for me to put everyone that I love into one place and spend every minute of every day with them. There's not and it makes me sad. I get the "busy body" thing all the time, from both family and fiends. You see, I'm always on the go. I'm always hanging out with different folks and running around trying to make sure I see happy faces. It makes me happy to do so. I suppose that's just my nature. I love seeing shiny happy people. Lol.Ok, so sometimes I spread myself too thin but I think about time and I panic knowing I am running out of it. It's hard to think about but its reality.

In life, there are joyous occasions and some very sad and tragic as well. The last couple of weeks I've spend in a bit of a slump, if you will. There are so many friends and family dealing with sadness that I've caught myself asking why more than ever. In recent days I found out about a classmate who is fighting for his life. I wasn't really close to him nor do I know him as well as my closest friends but the pain is, I think, no different. Growing up in a small community, you can't help but feel everything that goes on back there. I think so anyways. Day in and day out I think about this little family of three. The daddy who is struggling to hold on and the mommy who has to explain to her little son that his daddy has to leave. I can't even begin to imagine how she must feel. My heart just breaks for them and at times I have to fight to hold back the tears. In a way I feel like I have become obsessed in thinking of them. I awake thinking of them, go through my day thinking of them and go to bed and thinking of them. All day long I am praying for them too. I can't tell you why but it's the truth. That doesn't go to say that I have forgotten about eveyrone else. If you ask God, I'm sure He would tell you otherwise. I think sometimes I take up all of His time with all my prayer requests that I barely leave room for anyone else's. All day long you see me bowing my head or closing my eyes. It is during those times that I am praying. Lord knows I pray about everything but I have too, I feel like time will get away from me if I don't. Not only that but I think praying keeps me grounded and never the less, it gives me peace.

Oh I have to share this....Last night I got a friend request from someone who holds a special place in my heart. When I saw her name I was filled with emotion and the memories came rushing back. Just like it was yesterday. The little sister of a dear friend who had passed and a friend and I had been looking for had found me on facebook. Have I mentioned how much I love facebook? I was so excited to see how much she had changed and the life she is living. Definitely gave me a happy feeling. I can't wait to catch up with her more and get caugh up on the time that has passed. You can't go back in time but you can definitely make up for it, right?

Anyways, I can't believe how things are happening at such an incredible pace. I feel like I barely have time to wrap my mind around it all. My nieces and nephews are all growing so quickly, My little brother is graduating highschool, my youngest nephew is about to be two and all my friends kids are growing right before my very eyes. I think you see how fast time quickly goes when you see the next generation coming to life. I have never in my life felt so old! I love it though because I'm blessed enough to see it all happening, Thank you, Jesus.

While the little ones are racing to grow up, I'm going to take the time to cherish every little thing I possibly can. I'm sure that later in life, they will say the same

"What I wouldn't do to have some time back!"

As always, keep on a dreaming!
Cecilia

A Little Catching Up

Well, It's been a little while since I last wrote but since it's still the month of March I figured I would get a post in to keep my monthly post deal going. A lot has been going on in our household and lives. There is nothing that will slow us down and take away from us enjoying life. The Sunday after my last post was Super Bowl Sunday. Jason of course had to work so I was left at home to fend for myself. Originally it started as a joke but quickly turned into a reality. Super Bowl XLV was held in my hood so my friend Karla (shout out!) and I decided we would "crash" some tailgate parties. I mean, we dang sure couldn't afford the crazy expensive tickets to actually go to the game! We decided to start the day off with a little lunch in Lincoln square, which happens to be right smack in the middle of the area we wanted to hit up. We kinda cheated our way to FREE parking by altering our tab just a bit. Hey, you gotta get in where you can fit in! We were NOT about to pay some of the stupid parking charges these people were paying. I mean, really? $350.00...NO GRACIAS! We then ventured into the sea of people after that. I must say while I was a tad bit nervous, it was nice to see such a vast variety of folks coming together and having a grand old time. I can't deny, I felt a little cool being out in the midst of it. It was just a cool vibe and nice to see just how far people would go to show their team spirit. We didn't run into any celebrities like we had hoped but it was still nice to be in the vicinity of them. Oh and I hear some pretty cool news were received this day too. Maybe we can share those later.

Here are a few pics from that day.

Karla and I in front of "Jerry's World!" Crazy fun tailgating going on! Another pretty cool thing that happened was that I accomplished what I sat out to do. Remember that running thing I started doing? Yep, my first big goal was to complete the Cowtown 5K and I DID IT! Actually, the hubster and I both did. I was so proud of my man for going at this with no training and finishing. I can't tell you how good it made me feel to cross that finish line. Pretty darn proud. I need to get out and do a few more. Maybe then I can consider myself a runner. In the meantime, here is a pic of me crossing the finish line. I'm the one in the white T just past the finish line. GO ME!!! Lot's of good things, huh? Well, here come more. We recently found out about a little blessing coming our way. Well....not "OUR" way but our way. In the way of a nice or nephew. Sorry if I got you all a little excited for a second. We are still hopeful that post will come later. Back to the story. My brother John and his beautiful wife, Kerry. Oh yes, I said wife. They recently tied the knot by the way. ;) Anyways, John and Kerry gave us the news that they are expecting their first child. I can't even begin to express just how happy we are for these two. Just as we are for everyone who gets the news but a little bit more knowing they are part of our immediate family. Come September our family will be blessed with another little bundle of joy. We can't wait to see what they will be having. We hope to find out the gender in the coming weeks. I can't wait because that means....SHOPPING! What a precious and might I add BEAUTIFUL baby he or she will be. I can't wait to hold him or her in my arms. Until then, here is a little sneak peek at the precious little soul! FINALLY..... Third time's a charm, right? After being canceled not once but twice....my NYC trip happened! It was a business trip so you can imagine how busy it was but I still managed to get some fun in. Not to mention that with all the fun I had, my trip only cost me $22.68. Yes, you read that right. I did say business trip, member? My flight, hotel, food and drinks were all complimentary. Well, I like to think so anyways, I did put in some long days to make up for it. Since we pulled some long days at the office, we didn't really get to go out much for anything other than dinner. Except for the last day before we were due to fly back. We made a trip to Long Island and Manhattan. I was in love! Yes, those I love NY t-shirts are true because you leave there in love. I must say that I am anxious to get back there. Since we only got one day to hit the city, I didn't get too much sight seeing in. So, I want to eventually go back and visit some more places of interest, i.e. statue of liberty and ground zero. The day we hit "midtown"....I say midtown because they are quick to correct you on the whole "downtown" thing. In TX we assume all cities have "downtown" areas. I mean even the little towns have "downtown" areas where the "square" or center of town is. In NY there is "Uptown" "Midtown" and "Downtown"...Uptown is north of town basically. North of Central Park where you have the Upper East/West Side. If you watch Gossip Girl, that's the area you are in while watching that show. Midtown is south of Central Park and referred to as Manhattan. There you will find Times Square and the theater district. You know, Radio City Music Hall, Rockefeller Center and NBC news. Downtown is located far south. There is where Ground Zero, Greenwhich Villa and Chinatown are all located. Gives you a little bit of an idea of how exactly NY is broken up. So, don't make the mistake of calling it all "downtown" or you will stand like me....corrected!

On with my trip....

I must say I thought I had seen a lot of people before. BOY! Was I ever so wrong. Never in my life had I seen such a sea of people at one time, all the time. Not to mention that they move 90 to nothing. I felt like I had to jog just to keep up with everyone's pace. I couldn't care less though, I was in a place that I never imagined I would ever be at. I was in...NOO YOIK CITAY!!! It was a tad bit overwhelming to see people fly their way around like time would never be on their side. I ran out of breath just watching them. It definitely made me appreciate the place I call "the city" back home. I mean I only THOUGHT things were much faster here at home. Compared to NYC, the country I grew up in and tend to retreat to from time to time definitely moves at snail pace! So back to the fast paced city. It happened to be Wednesday night when we ventured to midtown and also happened to be Ash Wednesday. If you don't know what Ash Wednesday is, you can learn more about it here. It's a big deal for us Catholics and the start of a very meaningful time. As you may or may not recall, the hubster and I were blessed to have taken the sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St. Patrick's Cathedral in fort worth TX. Here is a pic of the gorgeous Cathedral we were married at. The inside is absolutely AMAZING!I knew before I ever visited NYC that if I ever got the chance to go, one of the places I would make sure to visit was St. Patrick's Cathedral. I mean of course it would have meant a million times more if I Jason could have been with me, but was still pretty amazing. Did I mention it was Ash Wednesday when I was there? Yep, so guess who got her ashes at one of the most beyond AMAZING Cathedrals? That would be ME! I was in complete awe when I walked upon the site. Never in my life did I imagine it would be even more beautiful than the pictures. There I stood looking up at such a Holy and sacred masterpiece. I think time stood still for a minute while I stood there because I remember people just swooshing past me as I sat there and stared. I could go into Catholicism and what it means to me but that would take a whole other post. Not sure about you guys but stepping into a Catholic church is different to me than stepping into other churches. There is just a peace and serene feeling each time I step in one. I feel such a Holy presence. Hard to explain but I do. Moving on.... I was ecstatic that I was able to be there on such a meaningful day and it made my trip that much more SUPERB! Here are some shots I took..... BEYOND AMAZING!!!

Outside of St. Patrick's Cathedral The ceiling. The detail is exquisite! The rest of the Midtown visit was spent doing a quick sightseeing tour. We walked by a few of the key spots and I managed to snag some shots there. We had a pretty unique dinner that evening. We stopped at the Stardust Diner to get our grub on. All of you Amercian Idol watchers may remember this spot in one of the segments before Hollywood. One of the kids there auditioned and made it to Hollywood. She is now back at the Diner. The diner is a 1950's setting and all the waitstaff sings karaoke the whole time. Most would be turned off a the thought of someone singing karaoke while you're having dinner but it was pretty awesome for me. I swear I should have lived in the 1950's. It's an era I find a special bond to. Not sure why but I do. I would give anything to wear those cute clothes and drive my ultimate dream car. A 1954 Chevy. I swear one day I will have one! Bet you didn't know that little fact about me, huh? I have a hidden soul inside of me and she is from the 50's. I just haven't let her come out too much. Maybe one day! ;) Here are more pics from my trip.

Long Island with Manhattan Skyline behind me.

NBC News Rockefeller Center Times Square

I hope this post hasn't bored y'all too much. Maybe I was in some way shape or form able to whisk you to New York for a bit.

Until next time....

Dream and it will come true!!!

Lesson from Madelynn

My last post "Bring on 2011" was what I thought would be a good kick start to the New Year. Surely after starting last year on the wrong foot, this year was bound to be better, Right? Not so sure. We are barely into the second month of this year and I can hardly wrap my mind around what has already happened. So many things have been going on with family and friends that make me really sad. I am hopeful though, that the rest of the year will bring everyone good things. I've decided to take one of these particular events as my main focus for this post and take it as a very special lesson. A lesson that will forever be with me.

Rewind to January 1, 2011. Madelynn Rein Whittaker was born. I was so excited about this sweet baby girl. You see, my TTC (trying to conceive) buddy, Michelle had just given birth to a child she never thought she would see. She too had experienced infertility issues, thus drawing us closer together. We shared our grief, excitement, hope and disappointment throughout our treatments. Because being in that position, we knew first hand just how the other felt. I'll never forget when she told me she was pregnant. She was so excited to share the news and I of course shed a tear or two of joy. Joy because she had been blessed with the most amazing gift, the one we were both so eager to receive. I was glad that she not once hesitated in telling me. It's hard to be in a position like the one I'm in because people automatically assume they know how you will handle the news. They assume you will get upset, mad, maybe jealous and God knows what else. I mean, of course I want that for myself but I would never in my life see such a blessing as something that I would resent. I find it more hurtful to find that people think this is how I feel. I mean, infertility isn't exactly a walk in the park, but it also isn't what makes me. I hope people will understand what I am trying to say. Anyways, I digress....

Madelynn was the most perfect baby, as we all are, considering God created us in his perfect image. I wasn't in town the day she was born so I didn't get to see her for a couple of weeks. Never in my life did I imagine what this child would teach me the moment I met her. After coming into this world perfectly healthy and beautiful, Madelynn took a turn for the worst. She became very ill within days of going home. So, when I finally got to meet her she was back in the hospital. She was so sick that she was put in the NICU. When I got the notice from Michelle, I got up to the hospital as soon as I could. I got up there as quickly as I could, not only because a friend was in need but because I felt a calling to be there. I'm sure people probably think I'm crazy but I've really been trying to listen and do what the good Lord asks of me. Throughout being there for Michelle, I got lots of compliments and kind words and at times, I wasn't sure how to take them. I mean, I wasn't doing this for show or to get any type of praise, I was simply doing what felt right in my heart. I can honestly say that I am so very glad I did what I did. Anyways, Michelle allowed me to go back and visit Madelynn when I got to the hospital. She was even more beautiful than in the pictures. She had the cutest little nose and a head full of hair. I stood there and held her little hand. I couldn't hold her because she was hooked up to all kinds of gadgets which made me sad to see. I introduced myself to her and even made a little small talk. I could see how much she was struggling to even breathe and it broke my heart in a million pieces, BUT I was not about to reveal my sadness. I had to be strong for her mommy. I must admit. Seeing a parent in such desperation is enough to make you want to break down right then and there, but I didn't. Before I entered the hospital, I prayed that God would give me the strength Michelle needed. If you know me, you know I am a very sentimental person. I mean, I cry during commercials! I feel God definitely provided me with the strength I needed. Madelynn was in the hospital a total of 11 days. I would get up to see them as often as I could, provided I didn't overwhelm them. I always made sure to ask and not just show up since there was so much going on. I don't know that my visits made Michelle feel any better but I hope and pray that maybe they did comfort her, if even the slightest bit. I have to add, I am beside myself at how strong Michelle was through all this. Sure, I saw her break down a few times but over all, she had the strength of an entire army. She absolutely amazed me! Early on in her illness, Madelynn experienced liver failure and eventually there was no brain function. The doctors gave Madelynn's mommy and daddy the horrible news that there was no hope. This sweet baby girl lost her life on January 22, 2011. Although Madelynn was only here for a short time, I feel she taught me so much and I am forever grateful. The main thing we are always reminded of after a loss is to never take anyone for granted. So of course I am working even harder on that.

One very important lesson that Madelynn taught me was that....

"Things don't happen to us, they happen for us!"

I'll try to explain what I mean by telling you a few things that have been going on. I hope you all will understand what the above means to me. Many of you do not know this as I have not really shared with anyone but during Madelynn's hospital stay; I learned that my job would not be available to me after the next 4-6 months. I've been with the same company for 6 years so it kind of caught me off guard. For a lot of people, this would be enough to send them over the edge. I suppose for a split second I was disappointed and even thought "what am I going to do now?".....While listening to what the big boss had to say, I quickly faded into my deep thoughts. I remembered the 8 months Jason spent without a job and how strong my faith became along with our relationship. By the grace of God, we made it and not once did we budge or break. So, I made the decision that I wasn't going to let it happen this time either. I really felt at peace at that moment because I know and believe that..... if He brings me to it, He will see me through it. While sitting there, I also remembered Madelynn and her family. How quickly we forget our troubles when we are reminded of how much worse things can be. I realized right then and there that things were not happening to me but for me. I thought...."I have absolutely nothing to be scared about or worried about! If not having a job is all I have to worry about, I am beyond blessed!" Sure, it is mine and my husband's livelihood but to me, a job is way less important than living in the moment. To me, living in the moment is to truly enjoy life and live it as it should be. In the end, my job isn't going to be what saves me and definitely won't be what makes ME!

Here comes tale numero dos. As you all know, just recently, Jason accepted a position with UPRR (you can read about that in my previous post if you aren't up to date). How quickly things change. When Jason first started this job, our main focus was our future and retirement. We have always strived to be in a good financial position too. This can be very hard now days but we still push for it. Jason took the RR job thinking future wise and at the time we believed it was the best decision for us. As I mentioned in my previous post, his old job was pretty hesitant to let him go. They really valued Jason and his work ethics. Jason is a very hard worker and ALWAYS shows it. He gets to work early.....very early, like an hour to an hour and a half early....crazy, I know! That's just him. He works late if he has to and sometimes, he even asks too many questions. I mean, you don't learn if you don't ask, right? Lord knows he does! He always goes above and beyond at work. It's something he is good at. I think he got that from his grandfather. He and his grandmother, Betty, were both major over achievers and they have everything to show for it. Anyways, since having left MS, Jason has been contacted pretty regularly by MS. Of course they want him back; they have made that very clear. So, the time has come to announce that he is going back! While Jason valued the short time he has spent at the railroad, he realizes that his heart is with the oil industry. I think those who really know Jason and talk to him, can see just how much he loves it. I mean, he talks about it constantly, almost kind of annoying at times. I know people will probably read this or hear about it and think...."What the heck is he thinking?!?"......Remember that whole living in the moment bit? Yep, that's what he is doing...exactly what makes him happy. Not only that, he couldn't pass up the offer and I support him 150%!! Right now, it is what we feel will benefit us. That's not to say that it is the absolute right decision, but it is the best decision for us now. The railroad was very understanding of the position Jason was in and even gave him some good advice, some UPRR memorabilia and some very kind words. So, we remain positive that this is a good decision. By the way, I really need to work on leaving a good impression. My husband has MASTERED it! I can't say I am surprised though.
He makes me so darn proud!!!

Madelynn's lesson continued......
I personally feel that all these events have happend for me (us), not to me (us). In life, we all deal with things that we often times see as bad things. If we take the time to see what comes out of those so called "bad" things, we will see the Beauty, the Lessons and maybe even the Meaning in them.

#1 - Losing Madelynn was not what any of us envisioned or would have ever wanted. It was very tragic and very sad. In her passing, I have gained some great friendships and a strength I didn't really think I had. During all this, I cried like I hadn't cried in years but it felt so good! I feel she gave me a release I had been needing for quite sometime. I was able to let go of so many things I had been holding in. I will forever carry that precious baby and the the things she has taught me and provided for me.

#2 - Losing my job is not what I want but unfortunately, I can't change that. I have faith that when this does go through, that God has something better in store for me. He's always provided me (us) with better in the past, so, I know He will do the same this time. I'll just wait and see what that is.
#3 - Jason's quick job change wasn't what we wanted to happen but it has. I mean, in a way we kind of worried about the way our decision would be thought of; but we quickly realized that we are making this decision for us and nobody else.

Remember my post about "God's perfect timing"....Well, this is all His doing. So, we know we are exactly where we are suppose to be.

The above are all things that can make us angry and resentful and even drive us to question God. I chose to do the opposite. I believe these things have happened, to help me become an even better person. For example....
*I am now even more thankful each morning I am able to rise out of bed. Many people can't say that so I try to remember to let God know just how thankful I am.
*I now start every prayer with thanking God first and blessing Him, before I ask of Him. He is the ultimate provider so why not thank and praise him first?
*I am taking steps towards bettering and mending relationships I value. Forgiveness is essential and a wonderful release.
*I am learning to express (even more) how I feel and to let people know just how much I care and love them, even if they think I'm being sappy. I love that about myself! :)
*I'm also trying to live a life of peace as best I can. Worry doesn't solve anything, so why bother with it?
Soooo.....Basically.........

I am living life as it should be and trying to remember to enjoy every second of every day because.....I may never get that second back.

The next time something happens to you, big or small, good or bad; watch and listen. There is Beauty, a Lesson and Meaning behind EVERYTHING.

Sorry if this is all over the place but I wanted to get it all out. I hope you are still reading!

As always, keep dreaming......

This post is dedicated to the memory of

MADELYNN REIN WHITTAKER

01.01.11 - 01.22.11

Mommy & Madelynn

May you rest in peace, sweet angel. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me the best gift I could ever have, a lesson in life. I love you and you will ALWAYS be in my heart, as you will be in many others. I promise to be there for your mommy as much as I can and whenever I can. As you very well know, she is one strong woman and she will continue to live her life for you. I know she is so proud to have you as her little angel.

Until we meet again, little one.

~Cecilia~

Bring It 2011!!

Well, 2010 is gone and 2011 is here. Today is my first day back at work after being gone for almost two weeks. I have to admit I really thought those two weeks would fly by but they didn't. I told myself that I would enjoy every minute of being on my break and Lord knows I did. It was busy with so much going on but that didn't phase me. It even got to a point where I didn't know what day it was and it was pure GREATNESS! Christmas was great with the family. I got so many nice things and have really enjoyed using my gift cards. I tend to stear clear of the mall during the holidays because of the craziness that goes on there but I managed to get in, get what I went for and got out safely. Jason was off quite a bit too so it was really nice getting to spend time with him and of course my Baylee girl. She is just a joy to be around! Here are some Christmas event pics and our Christmas card.

Our Christmas card picture we took ourselves and our completed card below.


Annual Friend's Christmas Party

Prairie Lights with the family!


While I was off, I took advantage of my break and decided to take my new "running" venture a bit more serious. I had recently started doing the couch to 5 k program to help take my focus off the whole infertility issue. I had to find something to help get me in a better state of mind. Something that would push me, help me to release tension and best of all, help me get to a healthier state. I started to really track my running and even made it public on Christmas Day. I debated telling anyone or posting anything on facebook about it because I was afraid that I would once again give up. Things changed when I was given the advice of putting myself out there. My friend Jennifer who is a SUPER runner told me that making it public would help me to hold myself accountable and thus pushing me to do better and stay motivated. She was right! Since having gone public about my new venture, I have wanted to do better each time and posting it makes me feel so good about myself because I have done it. People notice it too and their kind and motivating words are just the sweetest. Not to mention, they help me stay on track. My first goal is to tackle the Cowtown 5K. I would love to say that I am doing the marathon but I have to take baby steps. I am hopeful that I will continue to stick with this venture as it has been a very satisfying one. Who knows maybe next year, I can say I am tackling the Cowtown Marathon! BTW, I can't express the importance of getting fitted for running shoes if you are looking to start running. That was my first step and it makes a HUGE difference. I love my new kicks!


Moving on.

My birthday was a complete success this year. I got tons of sweet comments on facebook, lots of phone calls and not to mention the texts. I spent the day doing some shopping and lunch with my friend Jannet. She treated me to some authentic treats at Paleteria Michoacana and my oh my were they DELISH! It reminded me of being at my grandparents house in Mexico. I sure miss it there. That evening we had dinner with mine and Jason's family. It was a nice quiet evening after my busy day. The next evening I invited friends to meet me for dinner and was pleasantly surprised at the attendance. Twenty two of my closest friends showed up to celebrate with me and I just couldn't believe it. It's hard to expect everyone to show with the hustle and bustle so I usually don't expect much. I was overwhelmed in the best way to see everyone there. After dinner a few of us went out for a little while and that was very fun too. Gosh, I'm so blessed to have such great friends!

New Year's Eve was a success too. We knew we wanted a low key evening so we ended up going to the farm and mentioned our plans to a few friends. The Bozeman's and Bright's came out and we had a great time. We all enjoyed being outdoors and exploring the pastures. While waiting for the twelve o'clock hour to come, the boys hung out by the fire with Betty, the kids were just running around having a good time and us girls enjoyed some board games. Great New Year's Eve indeed!!!

DREAM BIG IN 2011!!! Blessings, Cecilia

A Year In Review & In With The New!!

So much happens in a year that going into every detail would cause for hours of reading. So, we will hit the highlights and go from there.

First, I want to start off by Thanking God for all the blessings we acquired this year. We continue to be amazed by his love for us and the ways he continues to bring things to us at His exact time. We can't wait to see what lies ahead of us in His plan.

The year started off kind of rough with Jason being laid off since April of the previous year. Life kept on though, we just kept our heads held high and continued to enjoy life as best we could. There was a total of 8 months of unemployment. Which is a long time to be without a job. By the grace of God, we made it through that rough patch. As you know things like this can cause strain in the household and thankfully, we didn't have any bad days. Faith kept us going and knowing that God's plan was at work kept us at ease. In March, Jason was pretty determined to find a job and after tons of applications with little to no phone calls for interviews, he took a different approach. He just opened up the phone book and started calling to ask if companies were hiring. A few calls later and he saw a glimmer of hope. He immediately got his resume turned in and received a phone call the next day for an interview. At the interview he was told to give a drug screen which usually says something positive but we remained in the same state of mind. Not wanting to get too anxious. He was told to bring the results back and within a couple of days, he had a solid offer. We were thrilled and felt so blessed that this door had opened up for us. Jason absolutely loved this job. I had never seen him so determined and eager to work as he had witht this job. I refer to this job in the past tense because Jason recently had another door open up with Union Pacific Railroad. You can read more about that in my previous post. I couldn't be more happier and proud for husband!!!!

Now that Jason had a great job, things were just trucking along. We were able to attend the Vegas trip we had planned for quite a while and had the best time. It was nice to get away and escape for a bit and was very much needed after the previous 8 months!


This year, we also attended our very first Larry Joe Taylor Music Festival with the best of friends. It was 3 days of pure Texas Red Dirt Music and quite the country woodstock. Good times for sure!


Throuout the year, we lived life as we wanted. We celebrated a lot of great things that went on. Our second wedding anniversary was at the top of the list and all the good things that went on for family and friends. We had Birthdays, Weddings, Births, Showers, etc. We are thankful that we were invited to share in all these joys. I mean not only are you celebrating wonderful things but also getting to be with those you love most. Can't complain about that!

This is where I get a little personal. As many of you know, Jason and I started fertilty treatments this year after failed attempts at conceiving. Although the journey has been quite the roller coaster and quite hard at times, we have kept our faith. We know that at His exact time, things will happen. We have such a big support system not just within each other but within our family and friends. We have felt more prayers than ever and have recieved so many wonderful messages and encouraging words from so may people. Out of all these messages, there is one that will forever be set in my heart. This past weekend on Saturday, December 18th, I got a special text from a very special friend. His text stated that he had heard a song on the radio that morning that made him think of us and that he felt the need to tell us that he was praying for us and that he loved us. He said he couldn't help but get chocked up. I immediately called him after reading this text as I was eager to find out the name of the song. He said he couldn't remember and so I asked what it said. He said that there are just words in a song sometimes that stick out and make you think of certain people. I immediately knew what he meant as I find the same joy in music. Before he could finish sayin what he was saying, he began to sob, thus leading me to do the same. What courage it took for him to allow himself to weep. Anyways, he began to tell me about how he just felt for us because our desire to become parents has not come to be. I just told him that in time, things will happen if they are meant to be. He went on to talk about how deserving we are of being parents and how he desires for it to happen too. I sobbed even harder at hearing his kind words. I was almost speachless but I responded with being thankful that we have our wonderful family and friends who let us share in the joy of being around their children. Jason and I have found a kind of comfort that we need with being able to be around all these little blessings. The experiences have in a lot of ways prepared us for our own little blessing(s) and have taught us a lot about the kind of parents we hope to one day be. After several minutes of getting really personal and emotional, my dear friend and I chatted a bit more about everyday life and then ended our call. For an hour or so after, I couldn't help but feel such a presence of love and faith. Although I wasn't really crying, the tears just streamed down my face for a very long time. To me there are tears of joy and love. The kind that make you feel to the depths of your soul. That phone call and text will FORVER remain in my heart and in my times of sadness, I will recall the very words he said. Especially because it was something he didn't HAVE to say. He could of just kept it to himself. However, he felt in his heart that he needed to let us know and didn't let his pride get in the way. I love when people aren't ashamed to express exactly how they feel when they are moved to such personal depths. Love it!

Along with the above, I heard a sermon on Sunday that really touched me. It was about "God's set timing"....The pastor talked about how we so often wonder why things take so long to happen. We pray, we believe but we don't see anything happening so we get discouraged and start thinking that its never going to happen. He said that the moment that God puts the promise in our hearts, at that same moment, He sets a time when it shall come to pass. I knew at this very moment God was speaking directly to us. The pastor stated that as long as we stay in faith and believe, we will understand that EVERYTHING comes at the exact time it is suppose to and not a second late. God knows exactly when the right time for us is and by believing and keeping faith, it WILL come. During our wait, He prepares us and from this we learn and develop. Not just us, but the other person who God has ordained to us; He prepares them too. As I listened, tears streamed down my face because I thought of that little blessing that will one day come. How perfect he or she will be and how loved!!!! Whether it comes naturally or by adoption, we will be prepared for them and them for us. This goes for everything that will come to be. People we meet, doors that are opened to us, they will all come at the exact time and at the time that God has prepared us to recieve it. Pretty powerful, huh? I think so. At least for us, it is.


For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day. ~Habakkuk 2:3~

As we bring this year to a close, I can honestly say that it's coming to a very good closing; full of hope and faith, just as it started. I am so thankful that God is putting things before us and allowing them to happen at His exact time. We know in our hearts that He is preparing us to receive what He has in store. Whether its a child or some other blessing. All the Glory to Him for EVERYTHING! To our family and friends, thank you for being part of our lives. We are so thankful that God has placed your in our lives. We wish you all wonderful blessings this new year, faith during trials and tribulations and most importantly, that you always feel God's love. We love each and every one of you. God bless.

Happy New Year and keepn on dreaming!!!!!!!

Blessings,
Cecilia

Here's to new beginnings

Well.......

After much thought and consideration, Jason and I walked through a door that has been opened for us. It was more so opened for Jason, but being that I am his wife and I stand beside him...that means I'm in too. It's been a crazy roller coaster of a ride but I'm quite sure that he is making the best decision. Yesterday, he turned in his two weeks notice at MS. Well, he tried to do so on Friday and his boss ended up giving him his letter of resignation back. I think he was trying to say that they didn't want him to leave. I guess you can say they consider Jason a great asset to the company. I can't blame them. Jason is good at what he does and is a hard worker! He ABSOLUTELY loves everything about his current job. He loves what he does and has managed to gain a lot of experience that will carry him a long way. Along with gaining experience, he has also gained some valuable friendships. You see the guys at MS are kind of a small family. They all work their little selves to the bone (well, almost all of them), but they also have a great time. They love to play pranks on each other and I have definitely gotten some laughs in hearing about a lot of them. I even had the pleasure of experiencing a prank that was played on Jason, that couldn't have gone any better. When you see him you will have to ask him about the truck sign prank, he will love me for mentioning it. Having been up there a few times and getting to know some of the guys, I found myself attached to a few of them. I mean, I think I even got a little sad knowing he would be leaving them behind. Just for a little while though, because we plan to keep in touch and hopefully continue to see them.

CHOOOOO CHOOOOOOO!!!

So....Beginning on November 29, 2010 - Jason will begin his new venture. He recently accepted the position of a Diesel Electrician with Union Pacific rail road. Some of you may or may not know but the rail road has a lot to offer for the future. It's a great career choice and the benefits are great. Of course, in accepting this position there will be some sacrificing. We can almost bet that he will be working odd shifts. Which as you know, may be kind of hard for us considering we love to go, go, go! Jason's grandfather James Alvin "Pop" Fox once said: "If you want something, you have to give up something!" So, we know that this will require some giving up. Time away from doing the things we enjoy to do and time away from our family and friends, which will be really hard for us. It's going to take some getting use to but years down the road, we know that those sacrifices will all be worth it.

I can't express how proud I am of my man. He's such a good provider and I can't thank the good Lord enough for blessing my life with him. Where this fork in the road takes us...God only knows, but we TRUST that HE is guiding us and will continue to do so. We know that things are happening according to His will and while change can be hard, we are SO very thankful for the blessings he brings us each day. So, here's to new beginnings!!

P.S. I guess I can officially consider myself one of the rail road wives. I can't say that I mind though. I love those ladies to pieces! ;)

Until next time...keep dreaming!!!

Blessings,
Cecilia

Not much to say.

Well, its about that time. The time when I have to think of something to write. I do have a ton of things I could get into but I've managed to hold them in this long, no need to let them out now. It's been a crazy busy time and a lot going on. There has been some ups and there have been some downs but over all I've managed to keep my hands in the air riding this roller coaster we call life.

One of the downs was that my NYC trip was cancelled...Boooooo! It could be rescheduled for a later time but as of right now, we aren't sure when. There was just another project that took lead and has to be completed ASAP. I guess that's ok though, because it means I won't have to be away from my loves....Yaaaaayyy!!!

Blessings,
Cecilia

Monday's Aren't So Bad!

Well, it's been a little over a month since my last post. I couldn't think of anything to post but since I have managed to do it every month, I figured I should stay with the trend. So, here I was trying to think of what to write. As always our lives are crazy busy with celebrations and such and pretty much will be that way until mid November. Can't complain though, its all fun! Today is Monday and while I normally don't like this day (due to the fact that it starts a new work week), today was an exception. I started off thinking it was going to be an either crazy busy day or just plain blah day. To my dismay, it has been an OUTSTANDING day thus far. Hope the rest of the day continues to be this good! When I arrived at work I found out that we will be relocating within the building. Wasn't too thrill considering I have been in the same area for the last 3 years that I have been here. Then a song popped in my head the lyrics "a change will do you good" suddenly had meaning. I thought that while change isn't always fun, it can do you good. So I turned that somewhat negative into a positive! THEN.....get ready for this.....I get called into the Jefe's or should I say Jefa's....Ok, probably should just say Boss' office. I'm thinking ok, I guess its our weekly How are you? How was your weekend? How is the weather? Yada yada yada conversation. So my boss starts talking about Kaisen meetings and how I have been selected to go with them on this adventure. Boss' voice fades and thoughts run through my head: Awwww....you mean I have to leave my hubby and my little one for 4 whole days? What am I going to miss while I am gone? How boring is this going to be? This totally.....(boss' voice fades back in)ROCKS!!!! Yes, you heard me....ROCKS!!! Why you ask? Well, turns out I am going to NUEVA YORK in spanish, meaning NEW YORK in english. What? Excuse me, what did the boss lady just say?!? I'M GOING TO NEW YORK, PEOPLE!!!!! You would think I have hit the lotto with the excitement that has filled my little soul.

You see I have always wanted to visit NY. Just last week I filled the hubster in on how visiting certain places was on my bucket list. If you don't know what a bucket list is, its your "Things I want to do before I die" list. I highly suggest you putting one togehter if you haven't already. Ok, so back to my story. The hubby wasn't exactly thrilled about us going to NY. He said he couldn't think of a single thing he would want to do in NY. Sound a little familiar, Tamara? Tamara is my friend who recently had the privilidge to go to NYC and her husband feels the exact same way J does. So, last week my thoughts were: "Booo, I'll never get to go to NY!"

My boss told me I would be going the last week in October and to check with my husband to be sure all would be ok. I didn't hesitate in saying, "No, I'm set to go and I WILL go!" Of course she laughed and said that I should still check. However, I knew that my husband would back me 200% on this. I mean, how often will this happen to me? To be selected to go says a lot to me and I know it would help me in the long run, with work. Of course, I immediately called Jason to let him know about what I had been presented with and while he was a little hesitant (because of course, he will miss me tons), he was supportive as I expected. He told me the things I expected to hear and of course the sweet things I wanted to hear,like: "I won't know what to do with myself, while you're gone!" How sweet is my husband?!? I know he and Bay will be okay though, God will be with them. I'm stoked to see the city that never sleeps but I know I will be missing them. I wish that I could just pack them up in my suitcase and take them with, but I can't. So, I will have to settle for phone calls, texting and chat. Thank you, technology!

Now, how's that for starting off a work week? I guess Mondays aren't so bad. I'll be sure to update about this adventure. Until then.....keep dreaming...Lord knows I am!

Blessings,
Cecilia

Faith ~ Hope ~ Love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Such an AMAZING part of the gospel. By far one of my favorite parts. Such a favorite that it was part of our wedding and I try to remember this every chance I get.

In times of trials and tribulations, faith and hope are hard to keep alive. Yet its those trials and tribulations that teach us more about faith and hope but like the Bible verse above says: " The greatest of these is love." There is the saying "Faith comes from loving and loving comes from friends." I love this saying. I mean, not only has God blessed me with the most amzing family and friends but he has blessed me with THE most amazing love I could ever have....my husband! He is without a doubt my very best friend, my soul mate, my one true love. I can't imagine my life without him. Well, I can't imagine my life without a lot of people but most of all him! I am so thankful that the Lord brought us to cross paths. For the past 12 years this man has seen me at my worst and at my best. Still, he stands next to me. He encourages me, compliments me and makes me feel a love that no one else has made me feel so far. Of course, God makes me feel all of these things times a million so I know that J making me feel the same lets me know that I am who I was meant to be with. I'll stop right there.I just had to share what an amazing husband I have. Thank you for always being there, making me laugh, accepting me and loving me unconditionally all the time. I love you, Jason Lynn Fox!

As always....Keep dreaming!

Blessings,
Cecilia